A 2021 Gift Guide For Your Loved Ones, Like Mitch, My Real Estate Agent
Hello to my readers.
DING DONG DING DONG. Are those the bells of wedding? Or perhaps of the simple door? No, it’s the Christmas kind of bells. That means only one thing: it is December, there is a supply chain issue, and you haven’t even BEGUN to think about what you’re getting your loved ones and Mitch, my real estate agent.
Let’s just cut the BS (which is what my surgeon said when he made an incision into my Stomach to take out a golf ball): Mitch doesn’t ask for much. All he does is ask me what kind of space I can see myself living in, how many bedrooms I want, and whether walkability in my neighborhood matters. He’s selfless like this.
I know what you’re thinking: “What do you get Mitch, this incredible man that has it all: business cards, an office phone number, a belt that he wears exclusively with light-washed jeans?” Well, let me help you out here:
1. A “FOR SALE BY OWNER” SIGN
If there’s one thing you have to know about Mitch, it’s that he is absolutely crazy about when people sell their homes. He loves nothing more than this. In fact, every time we hang out, it’s only at places with one of these in the front. It’s amazing to watch someone with this much passion.
2. A FRAMED PHOTO OF A HOUSE BLUEPRINT
He. Will. Love. This. Mitch loves to walk through these, look at blueprints, really break the house we’re in down. As we traverse the hallways and half-baths, his face lights up (sometimes because of some wonderful natural lighting) like an artist leading me through the Met. To have one of these of his own will — well, it’ll make his day, if not year.
3. MICROSOFT EXCEL
One thing Mitch is constantly talking about is the housing market and its trends. I mean, you really can’t get into a conversation with Mitch without him telling you what the housing market forecast is – but sadly, the graphs that he shows me, he doesn’t get to make. If you get him Microsoft Excel, he can take his love of real estate trends and actually express himself through it for once and really make it his own.
4. A BLANK HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATION DOCUMENT
I know for a fact that if you got this for Mitch, he would lose his mind. It’s been heartbreaking to see him sitting by me as I sign page after page and he doesn’t get to do anything. I know he says he’s done his end of the paperwork, but wouldn’t it just make your day and his if, somehow, he got to do ALL the paperwork?
AND MY FINAL GIFT IDEA…
5. COMMISSION
Mitch has never smiled wider than when he receives a check from his boss of five to six percent of a home’s sales price. I think of it like this — as soon as he cashes that check in, how many more FOR SALE signs could he buy? How many more pictures of his favorite thing in the world, a house, could he collect? And how many more memories can you share with our favorite family member, Mitch, my real estate agent?
Happy Holidays to you, yours, and Mitch.
Love,
Broti